解脱....

Decided to let go everything... even as been a friend... decided to do the disappearing act... pretend that I did not exist... that was the decision I wanted to make a year ago and I guess this is the decision I will make now... cutting loss... delete his phone number.. delete his msn... delete all the photos I have with him and let time wash away memories and blur the images ... going to see him the last time to get whatever stuff he got me as a gift.. which I know I will never take it out and use even though I love it... it will be the last time I will cry for us... in rememberance of us... I guess letting go of everything is the best things for me.... 走到感情关键时候却握不住你的手...还能有什么藉口让爱再回头...多少的爱说不出口...就让时间帮我说话我一个人拼命挣扎...总比两个人一起难过还好吧...如果分离是唯一的解脱最后的话我来说... 如果永远你不必再难过遗憾让我来过... 就算过去的回忆太脆弱连未来也没有我...爱着你仍是我的执着... 爱着你唯一的解脱

I suddenly feel like closing down this blog and start a new one... this blog contained so much pain inside and some how it will always happen in the month of april... It was meant to blog happy memories... memories of the time I shared with my loved ones... now.. its more like a grave for all my loved ones...

I suddenly felt so tired once again... looking back to all my entries... happiness does not last long for the past 3 years... happines just slip by me... and each time I though that I'm holding on to a happiness... but it is always a empty one in the end... both r/s... I did not get to celebrate the one year anniversary...what is the purpose to make them happy when in the end they all make you sad in return... shattering every bits of your heart that you take such a hard time to fix it back... is loving someone so difficult? or having someone to love you is so difficult?... I thought I know what it takes to groom a r/s... I guess I really do not know at all... and this last r/s says it all..

Suddenly this journey looks endless ahead of me, infront of me looks empty and bare... I stop and wonder is it best to sit here and rest... i'm just afraid of what's ahead of me... there have been more bad days than good days since the day I embark on this vacation... but some how I know I have to walk ahead... but how?... I know I will find the answer.. today is just not the day to walk ahead...